Elmar Squishwitz

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Rob, I want to use an interrupt. Warning! The following page contains spoilers for the most recent campaign! Oh no!

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Elmar RadioactiveK.png
Race Elf
Cornerstone Unknown
Class Wizard
Gender Male
Affiliations Theta Squad
Relatives Creation: Fire Spirit (dissolved)
Alias Chilly Wizzy
Status Deceased
Portrayed By Justin
First Appearance Porc Hunters

Corporal Captain Elmar (/ɛlmɑː/), also known as Chilly Wizzy, is a male Spellblade Elf Wizard played by Justin that appears in the Porc Hunters campaign. He is a member of Theta Squad and was under the command of Captain Ca-Rell until the end of Porc Hunters. He fought alongside Templeton Barringster and DeNada, charged with dealing with a hoard of Porcs.



Elmar is a male Elf with a thin figure, brown hair and blue eyes. Elmar was known for wearing many coats with the first layer of coats was a grey, hooded coat. The second layer is a green coat with a larger hood, but shorter coat tails. The third and final level of coat is a blue, hoodless one that is lined with fur and has the Theta symbol (Ө) on the right arm and is adorned with a loose brown belt and golden buckle. Underneath his coats, Elmar wears brown pants and brown boots with green laces.

Before his death, Elmar had lost a game of Chilly Willy when DeNada revealed his true nature of being a Cultist of Bones by freezing Elmar's penis and proceeded to shatter it. The pain and shock caused him to be in a catatonic state that allowed Khn'n-Rell to steal the blue Winter Coat and Elmar's Warp Blade.


Elmar is an easy-going and friendly Elf. He gets along with everyone in the team and was the only squadron member to obey the captain's orders in the beginning. His laissez-faire attitude does have some drawbacks however, as he didn't seem to care about the Fire Spirit he accidentally created, the forest it burned down or the Elf he decapitated trying to defeat it.

He is loyal to his team mates, respects his captain's decisions and is not afraid of taking command, which caused him to be promoted to Corporal and eventually to succeed Ca-Rell as Captain of the Theta Squad.

Just like most Elves, he hates Goblins and laughed so hard at one's misfortune he promptly fell off a bridge. This did cause some issues, since Elmar has severe hydrophobia and cannot swim.



Elmar holds much respect towards her for being the captain and always obeys her commands. This behavior caused him to be the first member of the Theta Squad to be promoted, and was later promoted again by her hand. They share a bond of mutual trust, which at the end caused him to be chosen by her as her replacement as Captain of the Theta Squad.


Due to his easy-going attitude, he meshes well with DeNada. They often share some drinks together at the bar and consider themselves best buds. At the and of the mission, they went off together as part of the new Theta Squad with both of them sharing the feeling that this new team was going to be fun.

During the Silvermine Mountains campaign, Elmar's friendship with DeNada presumably ended due to DeNada's reveal of being a member of the Cult of Bones, after freezing Elmar's manhood off after a game of chilly willy's.

Templeton Barringster VII

Elmar and Templeton never really had any extensive relationship, viewing themselves mostly as co-workers. This neutral relationship remained until the end, although Elmar did his best to avoid much contact with Templeton.

Phineas Barringster

Elmar does care for the youth, as he was relieved that he didn't accidentally set him on fire with the Fire Spirit, but never had any real relationship with him until the end. Now Phineas is his underling as part of the new Theta Squad.

Fire Spirit

Elmar felt responsible for creating this Elemental, and thus took it upon him to defeat it. He did have some attachment to his creation however, since it took him a while to decide that killing the Elemental was the right thing to do.

Notable Attributes

  • Elmar cannot swim, as he suffers from hydrophobia.
  • He is a champion of Chilly Willy.
  • While he possess the Fireball spell, he has trouble casting it and more often than not he will utterly fail.

Powers & Abilities


Wizard Abilities

Cabalist Abilities

Sorcerer Abilities




  • 3 Gold, 52 Silver: Elmar had looted 3 Gold and 52 Silver off of a decapitated Spellblade Elf.
  • Cloth Robes
  • Handkerchief: Elmar had obtained a handkerchief that had the address and kiss mark of a "Cynthia."
  • Red Leather Boots: Elmar had obtained a pair of red leather heeled boots with fur along the trim. They were too small for him, however.
  • Baton


Lost Items



Porc Hunters

The history of Elmar during the Porc Hunters campaign is viewable here.


After being castrated by ice and being in shocking pain,Gwyneth picks up Elmar and attempts to carry him out of the Silvermine Mountain gate. As they escape Elmar sacrifices himself so Gwenyth can survive, as Gwyneth could not make it in time while carring him. After Gwyneth drops Elmar (He tried to summon a blizzard to die in as "he always preferred the cold anyway", but that idea is shot down by the "Voice in the Sky") and leaves him behind, he is crushed by the cave in and dies. His body lies beneath the rubble of what was the Silvermine Mountains.


  • Justin got the name 'Elmar' from an online Random Elven Name Generator.
  • Elmar had cameoed in the campaign The Sunswords as one of the transformations of the Meta Ytts.
  • Also in the Sunswords, Gwenyth hints she had dated Elmar and wishes his cold spells could help them out out the barn fire.