Kobold Headhunters/Quotes

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This is a selection of Quotes from Kobold Headhunters.

Player Quotes[edit]


  • "Also, Roamin, he has no name."
- Rob, when telling Roamin about Noxel's new squire.

Kopie Ren[edit]

  • [Coe's dog barks] "I'm gonna get that wolf right now!"
- The team talking about the mission to kill the wolf.
  • "Banditing starts at conception."
- Explaining how babies can be bandits as soon as they are born.
  • "As my grammy used to say: 'Always put your eggs in the same basket'."
- Quoting her grandmother.
  • "Noted. I'm going to transform."
- After getting warned he might risk hitting his team if he transforms.
  • "Knock Knock. Wrastlin' is about to commence."
- Charging blindly into battle.


  • "It's a good brand."
- Giving a straw to Kopie.
  • "Didn't get that last part."
- Hearing Romulus trying to call for help through his death gurgling.
  • "Now the first thing about being a berserker: some people are born into it, some people can learn it."
- When teaching his squire about being a berserker.
  • "To be fair, we only don't like Goblins because they're despicable wretched creatures that pretty much all deserve to die."
- Explaining to his squire why they hate Goblins.
  • "I'll let you in on a little secret. Do you know what keeps my weapons sharp? [Whispering] The bones of my enemies."
- When his squire offered to sharpen Noxel's weapons.
  • "That's how I know you're not a natural berserker! Every natural berserker, when they are born, erupts from their momma's uterus, killing her, as they achieve their first transformation into Vendo form."
- Testing his squire to see if he was a natural berserker.
  • "This isn't about 'we'. This is about me!"
- Making a decision that only helps him.

Jack Krysstal[edit]

  • "Are you gonna 'serk off?"
- When Nox and Kopie are naked in front of each other.
  • "I'm the greatest fucking liar!?"
- When rolling a twenty for how good of a liar he is.


  • "Can I turn into a fart?"
- Trying to escape from the cow frog's belly.
  • "I feel the anus is easier to go for than the nose."
- Deadbones planning the escape from the cow frog.
  • "As my Granddaddy used to say..."
- When Romulus gives words of advice, or a nonsensical statement.
Note: See List of Romulus' Grandfather's Proverbs for a full list of his Grandfather's sayings.

NPC Quotes[edit]


  • "I'm a shiny Porc! Shiny, shiny Porc!"
- After Jack Krysstal oiled him up.

Noxel's Squire[edit]

  • "(Heavy Breathing)"
- Whilst trying to breath.


  • "Carrizem is also an emotion. It's the emotion of great frustration and confusion."
- Karazzeem explaining one of the meanings of the word.

Romulus' Grandfather[edit]

  • "I never said that."
- Romulus's Grandfather repeatedly denying he said a proverb.


Karazzeem: "You will slay the man who has slayed your granddaddy?"
Romulus: "I will take his life!"
Karazzeem: "You will restore honour to Karazeem. I, Karazzeem, say this."
Romulus: "You Karazzeem.... my cara... No, wait! Who's Karizem again?"
Karazzeem: "I am Karazzeem, from Karazeem."
Romulus: "Okay. So I am restoring faith to Karazeem, the place, not to you, Karazzeem?"
Karazzeem: "Yes, not to me. No, I am indifferent. I'm just your friend."
- Romulus talking about avenging his grandfather.

Karazzeem: "The thing is going to happen at noon."
Romulus: "Why are we being so coy about this? There is nobody listening."
Karazzeem: "I am not being coy! Why you think I being coy?!"
Romulus: "I think you're being coy 'cause you keep saying 'The Thing' instead of saying the thing."
Karazzeem: "Why, we should... we should not, no! Karazzeem don't talk about 'The Thing'."
Romulus: "Not out in the open. I get it."
Karazzeem: "Well, I mean... You know what they call 'The Thing', right?"
Romulus: "They call 'The Thing' ...'The Forbidden Thing'."
Karazzeem: "No, they call it 'Karazeem'."
Romulus: "They call it 'Karazeem'."
Karazzeem: "Karazeem! That's why I will not talk about it! I will not say that word! I, Karazzeem, will not say this word!"
- Romulus trying to find out what "The Thing" is.