Band of Thieves/Quotes

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This is a selection of Quotes from Band of Thieves.

Player Quotes[edit]


  • "Guys, I've tried so hard to affect these guys with rabies, it just ain't happening."
- Rob, talking to the Twitch chat.
  • "Damn it, I was gonna double-infect him."
- After rolling a 2 when trying to infect Bumbley with rabies a second time.
  • "I know there is a 5 percent chance that this actually happens... Fuck me!"
- Deadbones rolls a 20 and gets to charm the Gemlord.


  • "Running into a place to wait and die just seems like it kinda sucks."
- On the idea of hiding in a small alcove when chased by Elves.


  • "This is not what I had in mind."
- When he accidentally turns into a Clockodile instead of an Elf.
  • "Yeah guess what? I snuck around you cause I'm a thief!"
- When his thievery is question.


  • "If we throw water on an Elf it becomes a Kobold?"
- When the party is strangely curious about what happens when they throw water on things.
  • "Blunder Bros!"
- Gracias personal battle cry with Philhipé when aiming their Blunderbusses/Snakehunter during combat.


  • "Can I have my sword? You gave me rabies."
- To Squinks after Squinks makes a Kobold bite him.
  • "Man, you know what? Not as bad as you'd think in a butthole."
- After hiding under the Monkeyfish King's buttocks.
  • "K4!"
- After confirming that kobold number 4 is his name and title.

NPC Quotes[edit]


  • "It's a dwarf, but the beard goes on his butt."
- Explaining what a beaver is.


Yumi: "Okay, here's what we're gonna do: He's Dwarf Number Three."
Nisovin: "Why are you calling him Dwarf Number Three?"
Gracias: "Don't ask about the first two."
- When Bumbley is so excited to be the "first" dwarf on the team that he lets the others name him.

Kobold leader: "I hate dwarves, but you guys seem to be nice. Hmm... Okay, I guess if he's not really a dwarf - cause, I mean, why would a dwarf be hanging out with gnomes? What's your name, non-dwarf?"
Bumbley: "Dwarf Number Three."
Rob: "Combat has started."
- When trying to negotiate safe passage through the Kobolds' cave.

Gracias: "So how the heck do you guys burn down buckets of water?"
Squinks: "Well... The buckets are made out of wood, and wood burns."
Gracias: "But the water is made out of water."
Squinks: "Yeah, but the wood is made out of wood."
Yumi: "Are you like a scientist or something?"
- After the party lose their buckets fighting burning Kobolds.

Bumbley: "And you know what, he died a... noble death?"
Yumi: "Dude got cut in half. I don't know what's really noble about that."
- After the death of the Monkeyfish King's son.