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Campaigns Kobold Headhunters
SeasonsSeason One

"I'm a shiny Porc! Shiny, shiny Porc!"
— Burrito

Burrito is a Porc pirate who first appears in Kobold Headhunters. He is Jack Krysstal's best friend, first mate and masseuse.



Burrito is a male Porc with pink skin and a hefty figure, black eyes and a single tusk. He wears very little, his outfit consisting of a maroon pirate cap over a red bandana, and a pair of green shorts. After a massage session with Jack Krysstal using a special oil, Burrito gained glistening skin that attracted many people to him.


Burrito is a very easy-going Porc. He is very devoted to his captain Jack Krysstal, often offering him massages, and copying his moves when in battle.

Notable Attributes[edit]

Burrito's skin is very shiny, which attracts hostile targets.


Jack Krysstal[edit]

Burrito is Jack's very loyal and devoted first mate. Burrito stuck with Jack even after the rest of the crew of their ship deserted them.

Character Inventory[edit]

Powers & Abilities Belongings


  • [{Race / Porc}]
  • [{Class / Warrior}]
  • [{Cornerstone / Anglers}]
  • [{Attribute / Guardian}]


  • [{Passive / Acidic Saliva}]


  • [{Companion Ability / Howl}]
  • [{Sorcerer / Conjure Refreshments}]

Former Abilities[edit]

  • Drink


  • [{Armor / Studded Armor}]
  • [{Armor / Clockwork Vest}]
  • [{Treasure / Clockadile Oil}]
  • [{Treasure / Windu Morning Star}]

Former Belongings[edit]



Burrito is the loyal companion of Jack Crystal, and it is hinted he has been by his side for sometime.

Kobold Headhunters[edit]

Burrito and Jack are first seen discussing things on a couch by the fire. Until Romulus comes to get them. They decide they will double cross the group, taking the entire reward for the wolf, and then using that money to purchase a pirate ship. The party however gets sidetracked and instead gets hired to slay a band of goblins in exchange for a rather tasty looking boulder. Burrito, unconfident in his abilities, stays outside the cave. However upon seeming his party in danger, and the goblins calling for reinforcements, he joins the fray. However just as things begin to go in the party's favor a Cow Frog leaps into battle. Their forces now divided between two enemies the party soon becomes disorganized and begin to fall unconscious. Kopie Ren tries to revive Noxel only to instead cutting off Burrito's ear. Burrito and Jack and dragged to the safety of the Kobold monastery of Karazzim, where Jack and Burrito give each other sensual back massages in a pool within the monastery. During this the two continue to discuss future plans for after they leave the party. The monks within the monastery reveal themselves for Omally's henchmen, but they are quietly dispatched. The group returns to the goblin camp only to discover them all slain, and another group of kobolds reviving the rock as a reward. Jack proceeds to lie to the townspeople that he killed the wolf, and the wolf in the forest is another one entirely. They believe it, and soon Jack pockets the entire reward and is told that he will get double if they kill the other wolf. This delights burrito while enraging the others. After wading through a flock of Scrooges, the party encounters a large trash-talking mushroom named Shroom Trent who proceeds to pick up and throw Burrito into Noxel. After defeating Trent and receiving two Tambok Tickets, the party proceeds to corner the wolf. The wolf then appears to glow and merge itself with the dorset around it, using surrounding tree branches like tentacles and grabbing Burrito. After a long, hard battle, and the destruction of a Tambok ticket, the wolf is slain. Jack tries to steal the wolf's head from Noxel to no avail.


He was last seen running off with Jack Krysstal to purchase a new pirate ship.


  • Burrito is the only known Porc to possess genitalia. How he has a penis is unknown, and it doesn't appear to be of any use, although it is assumed that he gained it through magic of some sort.
  • Burrito is the first Porc to demonstrate the ability to have acidic vomit.