Porc Hunters/Quotes

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This is a selection of Quotes from Porc Hunters.

Player Quotes[edit]


  • "Goddamned gem."
- After the players repeatedly use the Wellforn Ruby to move great distances.


  • "Theta Squad, strike!"
- When ordering her squad to move out or commence an attack.
  • "And Roamin, you get the burned and decayed corpse of your brother! Hurray!"
- After rewarding DeNada and Elmar with treasures.
  • "Yeah, we were the laughing stock, nobody liked us. You know, 'cause you always set fire to things, you're a complete asshole, and you're kinda grumpy sometimes, Coe."
- Explaining to Elmar why he, Templeton and DeNada weren't liked.


  • "These things are heavy, don't make me move them around like this."
- Coe complaining about having to move his tile in Tabletop.
  • "I'm gonna summon a Shitlord."
- When summoning an Earthlord.
  • "Way to accidentally do a good job there, Bannister."
- After Templeton wastes time putting out small fires with Wind Blast, only for it to actually be helpful, as the fires were creating more elementals.
  • "So, my tent's been destroyed, I got hit by a meteor, I still don't have beer and pizza, I'm pretty pissed at this point, so I'm gonna summon a 2 by 2 Grand Fisting Event on this motherfucker right here."
- Deciding to use his Grand Raven's Claw, after ranting about the bad things that have happened so far.
  • "I'm complimenting your disguise, don't be a fucking asshole."
- After telling Dave that his porc disguise is so good that it smells.
  • "He drives an ice cream truck."
- Explaining to Dave how Elmar got the name 'Chilly Wizzy.'
  • "Bannister, could you move so I can see Justin better?"
- When Roamin's puppet is between Coe and Justin's puppets.
  • "We've got a whole alphabet of side plans."
- Referencing the numerous plans that they have thought of whilst getting ready to meet Porbo.
  • "I just came up with plan F: Fuck this, let's get outta here."
- When faced with an army of porcs and two skelephelks, led by Porbo.
  • "Hold on, let me try this, this is totally gonna work, alright, hold on. Haaaaaaaaaah."
- Trying to call for his own skelephelks in the same way that Porbo did.


  • "Yeah, who is in charge here? Honest question."
- After Ca-Rell asks Templeton who the leader is, rhetorically.
  • "One man's fault is another man's..." [leaves]
- When blamed by Rob for creating the flame spirit.
  • "I keep accidentally murdering Daves!"
- After accidentally hitting some of the reinforcements with his Fireball.
  • "You know what? That'll be Plan E."
- When DeNada suggests for Elmar to challenge Porbo to a game of Chilly Willy.

Templeton Barringster VII[edit]

  • "I'm not getting anything for saving my brother?!"
- When told by Ca-Rell that he is the only squad member that will not get a pay raise.
  • "Oh, doubles, he goes to jail!"
- After Chimera rolls the same number on both of his dice.
  • "I care about Alexander, and you're just like, deleting him off the board as if it doesn't mean anything to me."
- When Rob accidentally deletes one of Templeton's air sprites.
  • "No, it's okay, yeah. Anthony and Amy are both, yeah, they're twins."
- When two of his air sprites are killed at the same time.
  • "No, sorry Xavier. Xavier understood what he was getting into when he was summoned, okay? All of them did."
- When asked by Rob if he will take the hit for one of his air sprites.
  • "Wait, so now we're just porc slaughterers?"
- Templeton not wanting to kill the porcs.

NPC Quotes[edit]

Phineas Barringster[edit]

  • "Please! Please let me come on your adventure, I won't get in the way. Chat would love it if I came on the adventure, why won't you bring me big brother?"
- Phineas breaking the fourth wall whilst asking his brother if he could join them on their mission.


  • "Look, the only thing I found is gonna interest your Earthlord guy over there."
- Referencing DeNada's fondness for summoning 'Shitlords,' after searching Chimera's butt for treasure.


  • "Hey, guys! Come over here and look at this elf! Everybody come laugh at this elf! He gonna fight Porbo! HAHAHAHA!"
- When Ca-Rell asks if he wants to fight.


Rob: "I got a nine, you got a four, do I win?"
Justin: "I think we all lose."
- When Dave and Elmar play Chilly Willy.

Templeton: "We've got a plan and a backup plan."
Ca-Rell: "A plan and a backup plan, this is the most prepared we've ever been."
Elmar: "We've got Plan A through D right now, it's insane!"
Ca-Rell: "We've never been this prepared before in our lives."
Templeton: "Hey, Justin, can you show me Plan D?"
- Discussing their numerous plans whilst on their way to Porbo.

Elmar: "Hey, Roamin, did you hear about Plan D?"
Ca-Rell: "What's Plan D?"
Elmar: "Deez nuts! Hahaha!"
Ca-Rell: "Wow, that's great."
DeNada: "Get fucked, Bannister!"
Templeton: "I don't like that plan."
- Elmar explaining Plan D to Templeton.

Ca-Rell: "But listen, we brought shiny things for Porbo. We didn't– we're not tribute."
Porc: "What's shiny thing? Is shiny thing tasty?"
Ca-Rell: "Umm... Shiny thing is very, very pretty,"
DeNada: "Yeah, look here" [Presents Private Ice Lord]
Ca-Rell: "Look at shiny thing. Shiny man, oooh, shiny man!"
Porc: "Oooh!"
Ca-Rell: "Oooh!"
DeNada: "Very shiny!"
Porc: "Oooh!"
Ca-Rell: "Oooh!"
Elmar: "Oooh!"
DeNada: "Oooh!"
Templeton: "Oooh!"
- Theta Squad tries to offer Private Ice Lord as a tribute to Porbo.

Deadbones: "Actually, Roamin, you could get Coe off."
Roamin: "You really saw that tension between us?"
- When Deadbones suggests for Templeton to use his Grand Raven's Claw to get DeNada off the skelephelk.